I love hosting get-togethers for friends, but I’m glad that our Super Bowl party is over, leaving me with a bunch of leftovers that I can repurpose for quick meals. Today, I wanted to cook as little as possible. Most of my meals were quick and tasty, but dinner was quick and “GROSS” (a direct quote from Big-O).

Let’s start with the good meals first.

In the morning, I ate some coconut flakes and macadamia nuts while I prepared myself a frittata with three eggs and diced leftover broiled prosciutto-wrapped asparagus spears. I generously seasoned the frittata with Sunny Paris seasoning (from Penzeys Spices), salt and pepper.

This frittata was yummy but I kept thinking about how it would have tasted even better with a dollop of Greek yogurt whipped into the eggs.

For lunch, I made myself a hearty salad with Super Bowl party leftovers: overnight oven-braised pork roast, roasted vegetables, and guacamole over a bed of mixed greens.

I was home with the kids all afternoon, so I was constantly pilfering macadamia nuts from the pantry or eating spoonful after spoonful of coconut butter. I need to put a stop to this mindless eating.

At dinnertime, I prepped a tray of roasted broccoli with bacon

…and popped it in the oven for ~25 minutes (375 F on convection roast).

As soon as the broccoli was in the oven, I took out a package of Trader Joe’s Premium Salmon Patties from the freezer. I bought these earlier in the day. When I spied them at TJ’s, they LOOKED promising. The label says that the salmon cookies are made with just three ingredients: wild salmon, salt, and water. Wow! These babies are Whole30 compliant, and if I eat ‘em, I won’t even have to down any fish oil today! Bonus: The cooking directions state that the frozen patties don’t need to be defrosted. They can be sauteed for just a few minutes on each side straight from the freezer! It all sounded too good to be true…

…and it was.

The first problem I encountered with these patties is that they’re impossible to separate when you take them out of the package. The salmon pucks are stacked together, one on top of each other, separated by a thin piece of waxed cardboard but they’re frozen into a solid pink cylindrical mass. You CAN’T pry ’em apart. I tried slipping a knife between each patty, and almost lopped off a finger. My hubby was finally able to separate the patties using brute force.

Once that ordeal was done, I heated some ghee over medium-high heat in a large cast iron skillet and tossed in four patties.

I sprinkled some Sunny Paris seasoning and freshly ground black pepper on the perfectly round fish discs and fried them for 3 minutes per side.

Once they were done, I plated the salmon patties with my roasted broccoli and bacon and leftover roasted vegetables.

The salmon patties weren’t exactly tasty. I don’t know that I’d go so far as to declare,“THEY’RE GROSS!” like my son did, but I can confirm that the texture was dry and the flavor was really fishy. I’m almost positive these patties are made with Sockeye salmon – my least favorite type of wild salmon. I should’ve known the patties wouldn’t be yummy because the label said that they’re 99% fat free. No fat = no flavor.

Avoid these patties. 

I took one for the team, people. You’re welcome, by the way.

About Michelle Tam

Hello! My name is Michelle Tam, and I love to eat. I think about food all the time. It borders on obsession. I’ve always loved the sights and smells of the kitchen. My mother was (and is) an excellent cook, and as a kid, I was her little shadow as she prepared supper each night. From her, I gained a deep, abiding love for magically transforming pantry items into mouth-watering family meals.

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