Stir Fried Kelp Noodles With Crap From My Fridge

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Tonight, I decided to make stir fried kelp noodles again. Why? Because I’m at the end of my 7-night shift work week and I’m too damn tired to come up with something original and Whole30 approved. For this variation I added some anchovy fillets to fill the void left by the lack of fish sauce and some homemade chicken broth to help soften the kelp noodles faster.

(Yep, you read that right. I made my chicken broth from scratch using the bones I removed from the crispy sous vide chicken thighs a few nights ago. On my work week. Tells you how easy it is and how I should stop being so effing lazy).

For all stir fries, I just look in my fridge and pick some aromatics (shallots and garlic), a protein or two (eggs and ground pork), and some veggies that are wilting(broccoli slaw, shredded carrots, pre-washed baby spinach). Once everything is prepped and cut, you just sequentially throw it in your pan and you’re done. Dinner can be on the table in 30 minutes.

Here’s what I assembled for tonight’s dish:

  • 3 large eggs
  • 2 large shallots, minced in mini prep food processor
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 2 anchovy fillets packed in olive oil
  • 1 pound of ground pork
  • 1 package of kelp noodles, rinsed and drained
  • 6 ounce package of prewashed baby spinach
  • 1 cup of broccoli slaw
  • 1 cup of shredded carrots
  • 2-4 tablespoons of coconut aminos
  • 1 tablespoon of coconut vinegar
  • ¼ cup of chicken broth
  • 2-3 tablespoons of macadamia nut oil

Here’s how I got dinner on the table:

The first thing I did was make a thin scrambled egg omelet. I heated a tablespoon of macadamia nut oil in my 12-inch cast iron skillet on medium high and whisked the eggs with some salt and pepper. Once the pan was hot, I poured in the eggs making sure it was a uniform layer and turned the heat down to low.

Once the bottom set, I flipped it over with a spatula. I tore the omelet but I didn’t care because I ended up cutting it into strips.

Then, I added another tablespoon of macadamia nut oil to the pan and sautéed the shallots. When the shallots were softened, I threw in the anchovies and broke it up with my wooden spoon.

I added the pork and garlic, seasoned with some salt and pepper, and cooked the meat until it was no longer pink.

I added the kelp noodles (which I cut with some scissors) and chicken broth.

Then I seasoned everything with the coconut aminos and vinegar and covered the pan for about 5 minutes to soften the kelp noodles.

Once the noodles were soft, I added the broccoli slaw and shredded carrots and mixed that around.

Next, I threw in the baby spinach with some additional salt and pepper and stir fried until the leaves were wilted.

At the very end, I tossed in the sliced egg omelet.

Voila!

As a veggie side, I roasted some cauliflower seasoned with Dukka seasoning, Kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper, and thinly sliced shallots (400 F set at convection roast, 15 minutes covered and 15 minutes uncovered).

Here’s my plate.

The rest of the family also enjoyed some pork butt braised in Coca Cola and soy sauce that my mother-in-law brought over but I stuck to my guns and ate what I had prepared.

Not too shabby for a quick, well-rounded dish. I still missed the sweetness from fish sauce and/or oyster sauce but I’ll just deal with it for the next 23 days. Maybe next time I’ll add some red pepper flakes or chilis in place of the Sriracha I can’t use either.


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