Nom Nom Paleo

So Sandy came along and smashed the East Coast with a devastating wallop of rain and wind on Monday night. As I sit safe and dry in California, I feel terrible for everyone rocked by the hurricane. Please consider donating to the American Red Cross to help with disaster relief by clicking here.

I feel like a shallow heel for posting about something as mundane as yesterday’s eats, but I suppose that’s why you’re here, right?

Before I headed to the women’s class at CrossFit Palo Alto, I made myself a bowl of fluffy scrambled eggs topped with oven-roasted tomatoes.

As usual, I had a fun time with the gals in my class as we grunted through front squats and gritted our teeth through a burpee and running-intensive WOD. The workout kicked my butt, but as Coach Trish never fails to reminds me, I never regret coming in to the gym.

Afterwards, I zoomed to the cancer center to meet my mother-in-law for a follow-up appointment with her oncologist. She’s been doing great since finishing her chemo and radiation treatments a year ago, but it’s always reassuring to get a clean bill of health from her docs. Every time we visit the clinic, I can’t help but feel heartache for the other patients in the waiting room; I know that all of them have either gone through what my mother-in-law has, or are still in the crippling throes of treatment. It puts all my petty grievances into perspective. 

When I returned home in the afternoon, I grabbed a pound of chicken gizzards that I’d salted overnight…

…and a container of duck fat from the fridge.

I combined the two, along with some herbs and garlic, in a small Dutch oven…

…and popped it in the toaster oven to braise for a few hours. 

While I waited for the gizzards to tenderize, I ate a bowl of leftover homemade koobideh, oven-roasted tomatoes, and sautéed beet greens for lunch.

Man — I can’t wait until my wall oven gets fixed. The repair is scheduled for this Friday, and my fingers are crossed that it’ll actually get done this time. Bill and Hayley are visiting next week to whip up a feast and shoot pics for their upcoming cookbook, Gather, and I’m guessing my toaster oven isn’t going to cut it. We can’t wait to see what Miss Hayley’s going to cook up for us!

Before I left to pick up the Double-Os from school, I took the gizzards out and stole a peek — and a bite. The verdict: Tender and flavorful.

See? Offal ain’t awful!

I didn’t spend all day cooking. After all, it’s Halloween week, and I’m in full-time mommy mode, so I’m up to my eyeballs hosting playdates with super heroes and ghouls.

In case you were wondering: When Lil-O’s not in full Bat-regalia, he demands that we address him by his proper name, “Bruce Wayne.”  Otherwise, he flails his arms at you and growls: “LOOKS LIKE YOUR LUCK’S RUN OUT, JOKER!”

After a busy day fending off masked vigilantes, it was time to make dinner. I plopped a couple of pre-cooked pork chops in the SousVide Supreme and chopped up some baby bok choy…

…and shiitake mushrooms.

I sautéed the veggies in the pressure cooker and splashed in some bone broth, fish sauce, and coconut aminos before cooking it under high pressure for three minutes.

When the veggies were finished cooking, I torched the pork chops…

…and we squeezed around our kids’ tiny IKEA play table and chatted as we ate dinner. Our boys are going to outgrow this little piece of furniture soon, but I’m hopeful that our family will always make time to hunker together for dinner — regardless of the size of the table.

[UPDATED October 29, 2012: This ain’t a new recipe (it’s from a year ago), but I wanted to repost it for folks jonesing for an easy pumpkin dessert recipe to serve for Halloween. Enjoy (again!)]

Who misses pumpkin pie after going Paleo?

Look no further — here’s a mini crust-less version where the silky spiced custard and crunchy coconut topping will surely satisfy your autumn sweet cravings. You can bake these custards in the oven or pop them in a SousVide Supreme (195°F for 60-90 minutes). 

Here’s what to gather to make ten 4-ounce ramekins:

• 1-1/4 cup coconut milk (I used Aroy-D)
• 4 large eggs
• ½ cup grade B maple syrup
• ¾ cup canned pumpkin puree (I use Libby’s)
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg
• ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
• ¼ teaspoon kosher salt
• ½ cup toasted coconut flakes (bake raw flakes in a single layer at 300 F for 3-5 minutes until golden brown)

Here’s how to make them:

Gather your ingredients…

…preheat the oven to 325°F, and boil a full kettle of water.

Get two 9” x 13” glass baking dishes and lay a small towel on the bottom of each one (the towel will keep the ramekins from slipping around).

Heat the coconut milk in a small saucepan over low heat until it’s steaming but not boiling.

Crack the eggs into a large bowl, add the maple syrup…

…and whisk well.

Slowly add the warmed coconut milk to the egg and syrup mixture (a little bit at a time) and mix vigorously.

(Don’t be impatient and add the hot coconut milk all at once or you’ll end up with scrambled eggs!).

Toss in the pumpkin, spices, vanilla, and salt…

…and stir until well-blended.

Divide the ramekins into the two towel-lined baking dishes (ten ramekins won’t fit in one dish) and ladle in the mixture.

Pour boiling water into the baking dishes until it reaches halfway up the ramekins and carefully transfer them to the oven.

Bake custard cups for about 30 minutes. The custards are ready when a knife inserted into them comes out clean and they’re still slightly jiggly in the middle.

Cool the custards on a wire rack until they’re room temperature (about 1 hour)…

…and top each one with a sprinkle of toasted coconut.

These custards taste great cold, too. Refrigerate the ramekins and top with toasted coconut right before you devour them.

Last night, we zoomed up to Napa Valley to dine with our besties at The Restaurant at Meadowood. We had a lot of celebrating to do: This weekend marks Sidney’s and Jory’s tenth wedding anniversary. Plus, Henry and I are finally toasting our birthdays — albeit a month late.

As an unapologetic restaurant nerd, I couldn’t pass up the chance to dine at The Restaurant at Meadowood — especially since it’s only one of two establishments in California bestowed with three Michelin stars. 

Our experience at The Restaurant at Meadowood was reminiscent of our meals at Chicago’s Alinea and New York’s Eleven Madison Park. For starters, there’s no menu. Someone at the restaurant contacts you ahead of time to inquire about your food preferences, and then they craft a multicourse tasting menu from the items in their larder that match your picky tastebuds. I hate being a troublesome diner, but hey: they asked. So I told them that Henry and I would prefer a gluten- and legume-free menu. For the price we paid for dinner, I had no qualms about demanding “unique snowflake” treatment.

Here’s a peek at what we ate:

We started with an assortment of canapés…

…which led to whipped yogurt, black sesame, pickled plum, and shiso…

…sunchoke “granola,” sea lettuce, and oysters…

…pumpkin, molé, and ricotta…

…gluten-free bread…

…trout, forgotten herbs (like wormwood!), beets, and quince…

…coal-roasted sturgeon, fermented pear, bone marrow, and parsnip…

…bouillon of roasted meats…

…pheasant, pandan, mushrooms, leek, and prune…

…lamb, shabazi, and dates…

…foglie di noce, walnut, and truffle…

…citrus snowball with verbena…

…Asian pear, frankincense, and warm sabayon…

…milk chocolate, potato(!), coffee, and passion fruit…

…frozen raspberry parfait…

…and we ended with an assortment of mignardises.

Afterwards, we were invited to tour the kitchen…

…and thanked the genius crew behind the curtain, including our attentive and charming server, Zion.

We all had a fantastic evening laughing and eating, but one of us had to grab a burger before heading to bed.

I’m such a pig. (Kidding. It wasn’t me.)

At long last, I’m back. Did you miss me?

After reading an article on Mark’s Daily Apple about the importance of scheduling a Deload Week in your fitness regimen, I figured this concept applies equally well to blogging. Everyone needs a break to recharge and come back stronger, faster, and better. Plus, it’s been fun being a couch potato cheering on the Giants in the World Series. Okay, to be honest, I don’t really care about the Series — Henry’s the baseball fanatic in the family — but I love cheering on Paleo athlete Hunter Pence. Go, caveman, go!

After sleeping a restorative nine hours on Wednesday night, I was back in full-on mommy mode when the sun came up. Once the kids had breakfasted on eggs and Big-O scampered off to school, it was my turn for some sunny-side-up protein…

…and a chaser of bone broth. Note to self: don’t make bone broth with lamb bones, even meaty ones. The odor is…unpleasant.

Lil-O’s assessment: “Your breath smells like insects, mommy.”

Some vigorous teeth-brushing ensued, and then Lil-O and I spent the morning and afternoon playing Legos and Hide-and-Hug.

Never heard of Hide-and-Hug? (Not surprising, since we just kind of made it up.) The game’s just like Hide-and-Seek, but you hug each other when you’re found. I’m not ashamed to admit that I totally cheat at this game to score extra cuddles.

Between sessions of hiding under furniture, I managed to sneak in some cooking in the afternoon — I baked a tray of sweet potatoes in the toaster oven…

…and boiled a half dozen eggs.

For lunch, Lil-O had his usual plate of scrambled eggs and sliced strawberries. Me? I reheated leftover Slow Cooker Asian Short Ribs (recipe coming soon!), sautéed a handful of baby kale, and grabbed a small baked yam for myself.

In the afternoon, we picked up Big-O from school and the two boys spent the rest of the day reenacting a Weird Al Yankovic concert in our family room. Hands down, one of the best purchases I made this month was a set of inflatable rock band instruments from Amazon. The kids entertained themselves (and me) for hours by playing air keytars and dancing like their favorite rockstar. Best of all: The balloon instruments emit no sounds.

Just like every other night, I neglected to plan for dinner. Rummaging through the fridge, I found a bag of Portobello mushrooms that needed attention…

…and a pound of ground beef in my defrost bowl.

Burger time!

I decided to make Portobello mushroom “buns” and I prepared them per my usual method…

…in my convection toaster oven. I purposely cooked them on convection mode so that the circulating hot air would take out even more of the moisture from the ‘shrooms.

No one likes handling wet, slippery buns, right? 

I seasoned the grind with a healthy pinch of kosher salt and Penzeys Turkish seasoning…

…formed four burgers…

…and fried up the quarter-pounders in some melted ghee.

I tucked the burgers in between the mushrooms…

…and garnished them with leftover Oven-Roasted Tomatoes…

…and butter lettuce.

Now this is what I call an umami burger.

In the kitchen, one plus one can equal much more than three. By combining ingredients packed with umami (mushrooms! beef! tomatoes!), you can exponentially increase the mouth-filling savoriness of your final dish. Here’s an example in the form of a comforting, fork-tender stew — and with a pressure cooker, it can be on the table in less than an hour.

Here’s what to gather to feed 4-6 people:

• 5 pounds grass fed short ribs, cut into 3- to 4-inch segments
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground pepper
• ½ ounce porcini mushrooms
• 1 cup boiling water
• 1 tablespoon lard or fat of choice
• 1 large onion, chopped medium
• 3 carrots, chopped medium
• 2 celery stalks, chopped medium
• 6 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
• 1 cup marinara sauce (I like Rao’s marinara sauce)
• ½ cup bone broth
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, divided
• ¼ cup chopped Italian parsley

Here’s how you make it:

Season the short ribs liberally with salt and pepper.

If you’d like, you can do this step the night before and store the seasoned ribs in the fridge. Salting early helps amplify the flavor.

Place the porcini mushrooms in a bowl…

…and cover with boiling water until softened (15-30 minutes).

Take out your 8-quart or larger pressure cooker and melt the lard over medium high heat. Sear the ribs in batches until well-browned…

…and transfer them to a platter.

While the ribs are browning, chop up the veggies…

…and toss the onions, carrots and celery into the empty pot. Lower the heat to medium, season with salt and pepper, and sauté the vegetables until softened. 

Fish out the softened mushrooms and squeeze out the liquid. You can reserve the mushroom water to use in place of broth, but I personally find it a little muddy tasting.

Coarsely chop up the mushrooms….

…and toss them in the pot along with the garlic. Stir the pot for another minute…

…and add in the marinara sauce, broth, and 1 tablespoon of the balsamic vinegar.

Add the ribs back into the pot, mixing well.

Increase the heat to high and bring the stew to a boil. Cover the pressure cooker with the lid and let the contents come to high pressure.

Once the pot reaches high pressure, decrease the heat to low and maintain on high pressure for 30 minutes. Then, take the pot off the heat and let the pressure come down naturally (10-15 minutes).

When the pressure is released, add the remaining tablespoon of vinegar and check for seasoning. You can eat the stew right away, but I think it tastes much better after the flavors have had a chance to meld overnight in the fridge. Plus, it’s easier to peel off the layer of fat when it’s hardened.

To reheat the stew, dump it in a pot, and bring to a boil. 

Simmer the stew for at least 20 minutes and top with minced parsley.

Try this recipe — I guarantee you’ll like it. There’s no need to be afraid of pressure cookers! 

I completely forgot that my blog turned two years old on Thursday.

Oops.

Happy Blogaversary to me! To celebrate, I did what any exhausted seasoned blogger would do — take a day off from posting. Turns out that cranking out over 1,300(!) posts over the course of two years makes a girl tired. Go figure. 

Before I get to my eats for the day, I want to take just a moment to express my gratitude to all of you, my super-awesome readers. This year, I’ve met a ton of ridiculously great people, traveled all over the country, won a couple of groovy awards, and launched a bestselling iPad cooking app — none of which would’ve been possible without readers like you.

There’s been bad mixed in with the good, too. But dealing with a death in the family and a mini tsunami in our home opened our eyes to what’s really important in our lives: relationships, health, family.

So anyway, thank you for your eyeballs and your support these past couple of years. I appreciate you like you wouldn’t believe. (Unless you’re a mean troll, in which case you can suck it.)

Now back to the usual programming: The diary of a ravenous zombie drug dealer.

With the onset of cold and flu season, my shift at the hospital was busy, busy, busy. In the middle of the night, I paused to eat my packed leftover eggplant-lasagna-thingy…

…a small container of organic full-fat Greek yogurt and sliced strawberries, and a few squares of dark chocolate.

By the time I got home in the morning, I was hungry again. I didn’t want to make anything complicated, so I made a simple French omelet and ate it with some roasted yam purée from the fridge.

The Double-Os had the day off from school, so they serenaded me with Weird Al songs before I went to bed. If Putting on the Hits was still in syndication, my guys would get perfect scores on originality, appearance, and lip-syncing ability. Please tell me I’m not the only one here old enough to remember Allen Fawcett’s atrocious blond ‘fro.

I wish I could’ve stayed up all day with the boys, but my old bones were ready to collapse. I kissed the kids goodnight and headed to the bedroom to conk out.

When I got up in the evening, I checked the mail and found a cool present from my foodie soulmate, Melicious. I lurve my Well Fed bracelet!

By the way, you can enter for a chance to win one yourself right here.

I wanted to sit and admire my pretty bracelet, but the kiddos were grousing about how their stomachs were digesting themselves. Puh-lease. Whiners.

As usual, I didn’t have a plan for dinner, but I knew that I had a pound of ground pork in the defrost bowl, a bunch of kale, and kombucha squash. I cut, peeled, and roasted half of the squash in the toaster oven…

…and made a quick garbage stir-fry with the ground pork, onions, garlic, and thinly sliced kale. 

I seasoned the meat and greens with Red Boat fish sauce, coconut aminos, freshly ground pepper, and a squeeze of lime juice.

We all formed our own low-rent moo shu pork rolls by tucking the filling into sheets of Pure Wraps.

Not too shabby for an improvised pantry meal. And that brings up yet another thing I’m thankful for: Keeping a daily blog has kept me from falling into a food rut. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t bother coming back if all I made was chicken breast and steamed broccoli every night, ammirite?

Okay, gang: Your turn. What’s happened in the past two years that you’re thankful for? Better health? Learning about a new ingredient or kitchen shortcut? Mastering that cup song thing? Let me know in the comments!

Ack. Seven consecutive night shifts were staring at me in the face, but I couldn’t pull the trigger on preparing food for the week ahead. Too lazy, I guess. The best I could muster was to sprinkle Magic Mushroom Powder on a couple of rib eyes before plopping them into the SousVide Supreme.

At least one of our meals this week will be a no-brainer.

After depositing the spawn at school, I headed to the women’s class at CrossFit Palo Alto, where we grunted under barbells to hit our CrossFit Total.

Although I PR’d on all three lifts, I’m embarrassed to admit that my total score was just a smidge above Alma’s and Webby’s over 300-pound one rep max deadlifts. No matter — I’m just proud that I can finally deadlift a decent amount more than my body weight.

When I came home, I made myself a frittata with the leftover saucy sausage and baby kale stuffing from last night’s dinner…

…and crammed some roasted yam purée into my belly.

Before the kiddos got home from school, I managed to get piles of laundry done and conked out for my pre-work power nap.

I woke up still unsure of what to make for dinner. Scavenging through the fridge, I eventually cobbled together the ingredients for an impromptu Paleo casserole: a large eggplant, marinara sauce, homemade dairy-free “cheese,” leftover braised beef shanks, and baby kale.

First, I sliced the eggplant into discs…

…before brushing on melted coconut oil and sprinkling the slices with Magic Mushroom Powder. 

I stuck the tray of aubergine under the broiler (the only part of my busted wall oven that’s currently operational) for a couple of minutes on each side until they got nice and toasty.

I reheated the braised shanks in a cast iron skillet and added chopped mushrooms and baby kale.

Next, I messily poured Rao’s Marinara Sauce on the bottom of a baking dish…

…nestled the broiled eggplant slices in the sauce, and added dollops of my homemade “ricotta.”

I piled on the reheated meat and veggies…

…added more “cheese”, another layer of eggplant…

…and a final glop of marinara sauce.

I stuck the casserole in my super-awesome countertop toaster oven until the sauce was bubbly.

This casserole was a mash-up of two of my favorite Italian dishes: eggplant parm + lasagna with braised beef.

I know what you’re thinking: PALEO CHEESE? What’s in this dairy-free “ricotta”?

Any guesses?

Methinks you’ll be seeing this “ricotta” in a bunch of my dishes this fall…

It’s been a few days since I last blogged about what I’ve been stuffing in my face, but for the most part, none of my nosh has been all that interesting — that is, with the exception of Sunday night’s dinner at Aimee and Greg Everett’s house. Check out this grub:

Yes, the spread was INSANE. It wasn’t all Paleo, but it was gluten-free, ridiculously delicious, and prepared by Aimee, my Twitter BFF. 

I don’t know how it’s possible that someone can be that warm and funny, and just as skilled in the kitchen as she is on a lifting platform. Life isn’t fair, I tell ya.

Aimee must’ve been cooking for days, ‘cause there was enough to feed a small army of awesome weightlifting superstars (Jolie, Kara, Jessica, and Alyssa) — and me. Plus our kids.

Here’s a glimpse of just some of the food we enjoyed: Sausage-stuffed eggs, topped with avocado and crispy shoestrings…

…sliders on heirloom tomatoes and potatoes…

…cheesy chicken nachos(!)…

…sea bass with fig and mango salsa…

…chateaubriand with garlicky sautéed greens and carrots…

…fluffy cornbread…

…apple butter biscuits…

…and Aimee’s specialty: Gluten-free cupcakes!

I kind of pigged out. The night was a blur of eating, gabbing, and contrast dips in the pool and hot tub. Let’s just say Aimee throws a mean dinner party.

Fast-forward to yesterday (Tuesday) — my last full day off before another week of graveyard shifts.

To stave off the sniffles spreading around the boys’ schools, I’ve been prophylactically dosing everyone in the house with bone broth.

With Big-O at school, I hung out with my little one all morning. We met up with Lil-O’s preschool buddy at the park and soaked up the late summer rays — vitamin D, baby! — while scrambling around the playground.

After working up an appetite, we returned home for lunch. I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge: Roasted tomatoes…

…and roast chicken, and chucked ‘em in a bowl. Quick, easy, satisfying — just the way I like it.

Not long after, the postman arrived in the afternoon with another book I ordered from Amazon: Bruce Aidells’ new Great Meat Cookbook. Just from a quick skim, I already know this tome’s going to occupy a place of honor on my shelf. It’s a fantastic resource, crammed with meat-tastic information and recipes from one of America’s preeminent meat mavens.

I wish I could’ve devoted a couple of hours to reading, but duty called: Lil-O’s polite but insistent requests for sweet potato bars (from Ashley Tudor’s book) couldn’t go unanswered.

Big-O came home from school with a friend, so I chaperoned a second playdate for the day. By dinnertime, I was spent, and had a hard time figuring out what to make. Kelp noodles? Some sort of stir-fry? Hanging out with small children all day had dulled my decision-making abilities.

But then Henry got home and closed the deal: “Baked eggs. With meat.”

Sounded good to me. I started by sautéing some diced onion and sliced mushrooms in ghee…

…before adding a package of sausage blend from Full of Life Farm.

After the meat was no longer pink, I threw in some baby kale…

…and poured some marinara sauce into the pan.

Once the saucy mixture was ready…

…I scooped it into ramekins…

…cracked an egg in each…

…seasoned with salt and pepper, and stuck ‘em in the oven at 400°F for about ten minutes.

Mmm…I love the combination of golden, gooey yolks, spicy meat, and tomato sauce — and it kept me from resorting to ordering takeout!

That’s all, folks!

**UPDATE ON 10/19/12: THE CONTEST IS OVAH! CONGRATS TO ANN K.!**

Think you can get your fill of probiotics only from yogurt and sauerkraut? Think again!

From the country that brought us Gangnam Style comes one of my favorite fermented foods — KIMCHI! And my favorite purveyor is  Mother In Law’s Kimchi (MILKimchi), which hand-makes and packs this tangy and spicy condiment in New York City.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about the benefits of probiotics and know that one of the keys to good health is keeping your gut happy. There are trillions of bacteria in your GI tract, and it’s important to make sure you’ve plenty of “good guys” to keep the “bad guys” from overrunning the joint. (I’m not gonna get all science-y on you, but if you want more information about the microbiome in your guts, check out this post by Chris Kresser or read Diane Sanfillipo’s Practical Paleo.)

Most people — Paleo eaters included — don’t ingest enough fermented foods. For the past few months, I’ve been downing lots of kimchi, the national food of Korea. I love the fiery tartness it adds to my favorite grilled meats and frittatas.

If you’re a home fermenter or aspiring kimchi maker, the upcoming cookbook from Lauryn Chun, the owner of MILKimchi, is an excellent resource.

Me? I’m too lazy to make my own, but I’ll happily stock my fridge with the different varieties of MILKimchi. Wanna try some?

It doesn’t matter if you’re already a huge kimchi fan or not — if you’ve got taste buds and a GI tract, this giveaway is tailor-made for you. What’s up for grabs?

A cute T-shirt that announces your love of probiotics…

…and a sampler pack of MILKimchi’s three most popular flavors.

Here’s a description of the kimchi from the fine folks at MILKimchi:

Napa Cabbage Kimchi is handmade using napa cabbage, the finest chile peppers, natural ingredients and no preservatives. Spiced with an authentic recipe of specially selected chile peppers, the kimchi has natural depths of flavor that combine spicy complexity and savoriness. Natural fermentation makes it a healthy probiotic food that is good for your digestion. Our most popular flavor.

Muu Daikon Radish is made using fresh daikon radishes mixed with our special blend of chile peppers and all natural ingredients. Fermented to the ideal point where it maintains a pleasant crunch coupled with a complex chile-pepper punch, it makes an ideal complement to grilled meats, noodles, or rice. Comes cut in bite-size cubes.

Vegan Napa Cabbage Kimchi has all the zest, spice and flavor of our Napa Cabbage Kimchi but was made without using any shellfish. Hand-made using all-natural products, the Vegan Kimchi is a raw, fermented food that’s filled with natural probiotics that aid digestion.

How do you enter the giveaway?

1. Like the MILKimchi Facebook fan page
2. Like the Nom Nom Paleo Facebook fan page
3. Leave just ONE comment at the end of this blog post letting me know you followed the directions by Thursday, 10/18/12, at 9pm PST.

(Sadly, Tumblr — which hosts my site — restricts this contest to U.S. residents over the age of 18. Apologies to my super-awesome international readers!)

Good luck and good gut!

…especially if you live near a Trader Joe’s. 

TJ’s has been in California for almost half a century, but in recent decades, stores have been sprouting up all over the U.S. Each store opening has been met with rabid excitement, and it’s not hard to see why. As Fortune Magazine once put it, ”Trader Joe’s is no ordinary grocery chain. It’s an offbeat, fun discovery zone that elevates food shopping from a chore to a cultural experience.”

The success of the chain is due in large part to its offerings: A tightly-curated selection of budget-friendly upscale goods, gourmet staples, and time-savers like pre-washed bagged kale, trimmed leeks, hardboiled eggs, you name it.

Of course, like just about every other big grocery chain, there’s plenty of super-processed Frankenfoods in the shopping aisles, too. Not everything that TJ’s carries is awesome (or awesome for you), but after two decades of shopping at Trader Joe’s, I still supplement my farmer’s market and CSA hauls with a weekly visit to the friendly workers at TJ’s. After all, there’s always something new to discover.

In fact, just last week, my super chef sister alerted me to one of TJ’s newest items: Organic brined whole chickens!

With this bird, it takes just ten minutes of hands-on prep time to make a complete supper that’s satisfying and flavorful. (A caveat: the chicken ain’t Whole30-approved ‘cause the brine contains some sugar.) While you’re waiting for the chicken to cook in the oven, you’ll have time to cuddle on the couch with your kids — or spend quality time surfing the interwebs. No judgment, I promise.

Here’s what to gather to feed 4-6 people:

• 1 whole organic brined chicken (5 pounds)
• 4 trimmed leeks, sliced
• 4 organic carrots, cut medium
• 8 ounces of cremini mushrooms, quartered
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 4 tablespoons of softened butter or ghee, divided
• Aged balsamic vinegar

Here’s how to get dinner on the table in an hour:

You can get all your ingredients at your neighborhood Trader Joe’s. If you don’t live in one of the 35 states where TJ’s operates, I’m sorry. Your dinner won’t be as quick and easy as this one, but you can always plan ahead by brining your own chicken and still follow along with the rest of this recipe.

The brined chickens at Trader Joe’s are about 5 pounds each, and will easily feed 4 to 6 people. 

Preheat the oven to 425°F.

Although the instructions on the packaging tell you to rinse the bird, just blot it dry with a paper towel. (It won’t end up too salty, I promise.)

With a sharp pair of kitchen shears, cut out the back bone…

…and trim away excess fat and skin. (Don’t forget to save the carcass and back bone for bone broth.)

Then, spatchcock the bird: Flip the chicken over and open it up like a book. Using a kitchen knife, cut a ½-inch through the cartilage on the breast bone and firmly press down with your hands to flatten it.

Next, prepare the veggies that will line the roasting pan.

Even though the trimmed leeks from TJ’s look clean, there’s still lots of dirt hidden in the folds. Keeping the root end intact, cut the rest of the leek in half lengthwise.

Give the leek a quarter-turn, and then slice it lengthwise again (at a right angle from the initial cut). Keep the root end intact!

Fan the leaves under running water to release the sand and mud.

Once the leeks are cleaned, flick off the excess water and slice ‘em crosswise.

Chop the carrots in uniform medium chunks…

…and toss them on a tray with the leeks.

Add the quartered mushrooms and toss on some salt and pepper. 

Dot the vegetables with half of the softened butter or ghee (2 tablespoons).

Lay the chicken on top of the seasoned vegetables, breast-side up.

Smush on the remaining two tablespoons of butter or ghee.

Roast the chicken in the oven for 45 minutes or until the breast registers 150° F on a meat thermometer and the thigh meat hits 170° F.

(As you can see, I cooked my chicken in my amazing toaster oven. Yes, my regular oven remains broken. Boo!)

Brined chicken skin doesn’t get as toasty and crispy as a dry-rubbed chicken — but I’ll trade perfectly bronzed skin for juicy meat any day. 

Transfer the chicken to a cutting board and let it rest for 15 minutes before carving it. In the meantime, toss the vegetables in the pan with a splash of balsamic vinegar.

While you’re waiting to cut the chicken, sauté some greens to go with your chicken and roasted veggies.

Voilà! 

As you may have noticed, I haven’t documented my daily eats in a couple of days ‘cause I’ve been trying to squeeze in more sleep. It’s a tough proposition; with my crazy work schedule, parenting duties, late-night blogging sessions, and an unhealthy obsession with TMZ, it hasn’t been easy getting enough shut-eye. Still, with just a little bit of effort and discipline, I’ve made some gains. On my Flip Night, I enjoyed a deep, uninterrupted, nine-hour snooze. It was so super-restorative that even before the sun was up, I bounced out of bed Thursday morning to intercept Big-O as he sleepily wandered down the hallway towards the bathroom.

As I strolled into the kitchen, it dawned on me that I still had a pork chop floating in the SousVide Supreme that I forgot to ice and put away the night before. How serendipitous: Pork chops for breakfast!

In less time than it takes for a Pop Tart to warm up in the toaster, I seared the chop in coconut oil…

…sliced it up…

…and plated it with a dollop of applesauce for the boys’ breakfast. Pork chops and appleshosh — isn’t that swhell?

And because the water oven was already on, I threw in a harissa-rubbed lambchetta that came in my 4505 Meats CSA bag.

I’ll fish it out and finish it off in 24 hours.

While I packed Big-O’s LunchBots…

I made myself a simple breakfast of sunny-side-up eggs fried in butter…

…a few slices of deli roast beef, and cold leftover roasted broccoli.

After dropping Big-O at school, Lil-O and I headed to Happy Hollow where we spent the morning riding the pint-sized roller coaster and scrambling up and down the massive play structure. The fun comes with a twinge of sadness, though; soon, my youngest will be in kindergarten, and our morning jaunts will be relegated to weekends.

We didn’t get home ‘til mid-afternoon, and we were hungry. I threw together a quick Tuna and Avocado Wrap for myself (while Lil-O feasted on his favorite meal of all time: scrambled eggs and strawberries).

My emergency meal today reminded me that I need to heed Mel’s advice and have homemade mayo ready in the fridge. That way, tuna salad is only a popped can of tuna away.

In the evening, I pulled up my copy of George Bryant and Abel James’s new e-book, Caveman Feast, and mixed up a batch of Apple Dijon Burgers. You know a recipe’s going to be a winner when the ingredients in the mixing bowl look good enough to eat as-is.

I formed the mixture into little sliders…

…and fried them up in bacon drippings. I topped the burger bites with sautéed mushrooms and onions — plus a few slices of crisp bacon. To accompany the sliders, I roasted a tray of broccoli, too.

I’m a big fan of dishes that combine savory, sweet, and tang, and these burgers definitely fit the bill.

This recipe, like all of George’s tasty dishes, is simple, straightforward, and packed with flavor — perfect for a quick weeknight meal.

An even bigger endorsement came from the Double-O’s, who polished off their plates in record time. I had to remind them that dinner’s not a race.

Toodles, poodles.

[UPDATED October 10, 2012: This ain’t a new recipe (it’s from over a year ago), but it continues to be popular and the old photos were all kinds of horrible, so I updated this post with new pics. Enjoy (again!)]

Here’s a quick and satisfying stew that I throw together when I’m uber lazy and tired. In other words, this is a dish I cook on a typical day in the life of Nom Nom Paleo. I don’t brown anything and all the ingredients are dumped into the slow cooker to simmer on low for 8-10 hours. Poof! Dinner is ready in less than 10  minutes of prep time!

Important caveat: Try to use the best ingredients you can find because when you’re just chucking stuff into the slow cooker, you’ll end up with crap if you start with bad ingredients.

Here’s what I toss into the slow cooker to feed 4-6 people:

• 2 small onions, thinly sliced 
• 6 cloves of garlic, peeled and smashed
• ½ pound baby carrots
• Kosher salt 
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 3 pounds of pork shoulder, cut into 1.5 inch cubes or a 4 pound bone-in pork shoulder roast
• 1 tablespoon Sunny Paris seasoning (or your favorite seasoning blend)
• 1 tablespoon Red Boat Fish sauce
• 1 small cabbage, cut into 8 wedges
• 1 cup Rao’s marinara sauce (or any other Paleo-friendly marinara sauce)
• 1 tablespoon of aged balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup finely chopped Italian parsley (optional)

Here’s how you make it:

Slice up the onions and smash the garlic cloves…

…and add them with the carrots to the slow cooker liner. Season liberally with salt and pepper.

Grab some high quality pork…

…cube it (if you’re so inclined)…

…and toss with Sunny Paris seasoning and fish sauce.

(No Sunny Paris? No problem. Just use an herb blend you like.)

Add another sprinkle of salt and pepper and toss to combine.

Pile the seasoned pork on top of the onions and carrots…

…and tuck the cabbage wedges on top.

Drizzle on the marinara sauce and some more salt and pepper.

Put on the lid and cook on low for 8-10 hours.

When the pork and veggies are fork-tender, adjust the stew for seasoning with  balsamic vinegar, salt, and pepper.

If you’re feeling fancy, top the stew with fresh Italian parsley.

I love it when meals cook themselves!

“But…but…but…potatoes aren’t Paleo!”

Once again, with feeling: It all depends on what you mean when you say “Paleo.” There is, after all, no such thing as one definitive Paleo diet. Potatoes may not have been available to cavemen, but I really don’t care. Historical re-enactment ain’t my cup of tea. (Besides, it’s not like our prehistoric ancestors snacked on dark chocolate bars, either.)

My personal template for Paleo eating focuses on nutrient-packed whole foods that don’t hurt me. For me, potatoes fall into that category. After checking out Bill and Hayley’s post on the Paleosity of potatoes, listening to the safe starch debate, and soaking in Mat Lalonde’s talk about nutrient density at the 2012 Ancestral Health Symposium (during which Mat pointed out that peeled potatoes are actually more nutrient dense than sweet potatoes, save for the beta-carotene in the latter), I’ve decided that an occasional portion of peeled potatoes are a-OK on my plate. Your circumstances may be different; for instance, if you’re on a super-low-carb protocol at the moment, you’re probably not looking to down a bowl of spuds.

Blah, blah, blah, science, science, science, blah, blah, blah.

With that pesky business out of the way, let me show you how to use a pressure cooker to make spuds with crispy exteriors and fluffy interiors in no time flat.

Ready?

Here’s what to gather to make a side dish fit for four folks:

• 1 pound of potatoes, peeled and cut into uniform 1 - 1½ inch cubes
• 2 tablespoons of ghee or butter
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper
• ¼ cup minced Italian parsley
• ½ lemon

Add ½ cup of water to the bottom of a 6-quart pressure cooker fitted with a steamer insert. Dump in the potatoes.

Cover the pot and cook over high heat until high pressure is reached. Lower the heat to a simmer and maintain high pressure for 5 minutes.

Let the pressure release naturally (~10 minutes).

Melt the ghee or butter over medium high heat in a large skillet. Once it starts sputtering, carefully add the potatoes to the pan.

Season generously with salt and pepper. Leave the potatoes undisturbed for 1 minute before flipping to brown the other side for an additional minute. 

Squeeze the juice from half a lemon and toss with fresh Italian parsley.

P.S. Just ‘cause I’m posting a recipe for a side dish of potatoes doesn’t mean you have license to gorge on potato chips and French fries, which are just vehicles for delivering vegetable oil badness into your system. Yes, I know you already know that, but I’m a mother, and my job is to nag.

**UPDATE ON 10/9/12 @ 10:15 pm: THE GIVEAWAY IS OVAH! CONGRATS TO CICHLISUITE!**

I’m going to let you in on a secret: When I’m too lazy to take food photos and throw together a new blog post, I host a giveaway. Win-win! (Well, unless you don’t actually win.)

Kidding aside, one lucky reader will receive THREE great cookbooks that run the gamut from Whole30-approved to not Paleo at all (but awesome nonetheless!).

First up: My pal Melissa Joulwan’s ridiculously great Well Fed.

I’ll say it ‘til I’m blue in the face: Well Fed is one of my all-time favorite cookbooks. Your life isn’t complete ‘til you’ve tasted her Bora Bora Fireballs or The Best Chicken You’ll Ever Eat. Mel’s book is crammed with so many great tips, antidotes, and tantalizing dishes that you won’t even notice that you’re eating Whole30-compliant meals. If you haven’t gone Paleo yet, Well Fed’ll convince you to make it a lifestyle.

Next up is Tammy Credicott’s new cookbook, Paleo Indulgences. 

I rarely make or eat dessert these days — “Paleoized” or otherwise. But when I’m in the mood for some sweet off-roading, Tammy’s been a great source for foolproof recipes that deliver the goods without the usual gluten gut punch. I made her blueberry crumble muffins the other day, and my decidedly non-Paleo parents inhaled ‘em. Not in the mood for sweets? There are plenty of savory indulgences in her cookbook, too.

Last but not least: Thomas Keller’s Ad Hoc At Home.

This cookbook wasn’t written for Paleo eaters, though you’ll find plenty of Paleo-friendly recipes in there. I’m including this gorgeous hardcover ‘cause it’s beautiful and inspirational, and authored by one the best and most acclaimed chefs in the known universe. I mean, the guy’s the only American chef to have been awarded simultaneous three-star Michelin ratings for two different restaurants.

Beginning in the late ’90s, I’ve enjoyed mind-blowing (and wallet-blowing) meals at all of Chef Keller’s restaurants, from The French Laundry (in California’s wine country) to Per Se (in New York City). Ad Hoc’s one of their more casual cousins, but it’s equally worthy of an off-the-rails splurge. Don’t believe me? Just ask Mrs. Whole9 (a.k.a. Melissa Harwig), who visited Ad Hoc earlier this summer.

I still look at Henry’s photo of Ad Hoc’s famous fried chicken (taken in the summer of 2009 using our old point-and-shoot!) and fondly remember the days when I’d fall headfirst into this platter of awesomeness:

Ready to join Cookbook Hoarders Anonymous with me?

Simply leave ONE comment at the end of this post by Tuesday, 10/9/12, at 9 p.m. PST letting me know your all-time favorite cookbook. Yep — that’s all you gotta do to enter for a chance to win this prize package (worth $110)!

(Sadly, Tumblr — which hosts my site — restricts this contest to U.S. residents over the age of 18. Apologies to my super-awesome international readers!)

Good luck, and be sure to tell your friends!

Up next: Another episode of GARBAGE MEALS!

Sure, “Garbage Meals” sounds harsh and unappetizing, but my second choice was “C.O.R.N. (Clean Out Refrigerator Night) Meals,” and that’s not very Paleo.

Today’s meals perfectly illustrate my approach to maintaining kitchen sanity: (1) stocking up on emergency protein, and (2) utilizing umami to maximize flavor. Just like I discussed in Estes Park last weekend, flavorful meals can be quickly cobbled together — even with odds and ends fished out of the fridge and pantry. I may be many things, but I ain’t no hypocrite!

During my zombie drug dealer shift at the hospital, I ate leftover Cheater Crispy Sous Vide Duck Confit Legs, sautéed baby kale, and sliced heirloom tomatoes.

Costco offers more than just toilet paper and free samples. Whenever I visit, I stock up on pre-cooked duck confit legs and ginormous bags of organic baby kale.

As for the heirloom tomatoes, they’re a simple way to add a boost of umami to any meal. It breaks my heart that tomatoes’ll soon be out of season. Boo.

When the morning crew shuffled in with their coffees, I made like a banana and split. The morning was spent shuttling the kiddos to school and gabbing on the phone (there’s official Nom Nom Paleo business to be conducted, people!). 

I managed less than six hour of sleep before waking to the sounds of children clomping Gangnam Style up and down the hallway. (Damn you, Psy. Damn you.) Sometimes I wish I could superglue my earplugs in place.

It was Garbage Meal time.

Frittatas are definitely the way to go when I’m feeling uninspired. I start by thawing some frozen spinach and wringing it dry…

…and then I slice up some mushrooms and onions, and mince a clove of garlic.

I sauté the veggies in melted butter…

…add the spinach…

…and some leftover Slow Cooker Kalua Pig…

Once the filling was heated through and seasoned with Magic Mushroom Powder, I whisked a few eggs with a splash of heavy cream…

…and poured it in the skillet.

…before sticking it under the broiler.

I flipped the egg pie out of the pan…

…sliced it up…

…and served it with a simple tomato salad.

Here’s my dinner plate:

Before I forget: I’m thinking of having some new Nom Nom Paleo socks made — this time, with lettering that matches my logo. Although I like red on black, I think yellow on black would be really cool, too.

They would be an homage to Bruce Lee a la Game of Death. (Two fun facts: (1) my uncle (my mom’s older brother), Wong Shun Leung, trained Bruce Lee in kung fu, and (2) Bruce Lee taught my mom how to slow dance when she was a girl. Cool, right?)

Which color combination for the socks would you prefer? This?

Or this?

With our trip to the snow-capped Rockies already receding into memory, I find myself reminiscing about it with the same fondness I feel for the one and only season of Freaks and Geeks. (I’d be such a proud mama if the Double-Os grew up to be Asian Sam Weirs.) Oh, well. Back to reality.

Since returning from Colorado, I’ve been making up for lost time in the kitchen. I hadn’t veered off-course too badly on this trip, but I’d experienced a bit of GI upset that I wanted to remedy with some clean eats. No, I’m not embarking on a full-blown Whole30 like Mel or a coffee-free protocol like Holly, but I did dial in my chow for a few days. I simmered steaming pots of meaty bone broth and chocolate chili, roasted a tray of sweet potatoes, and filled up my defrost bowl with meaty surprises from the freezer.

The payoff? I was Well Fed (punny!) on my first night back at the hospital after diving into a LunchBots Thermal filled with chocolate chili-topped microwaved spaghetti squash.

In the morning,  I put on my chauffeur cap and shuttled Big-O to school and Lil-O to gymnastics before coming home to pass out ‘til dinnertime.

Like a vampire, I skulked out of the bedroom after the sun dipped below the horizon, and headed to the kitchen to suck blood make dinner. When I’m groggy, I have to keep my dinner plans simple. I roasted a tray of green beans…

…coated with coconut oil, Red Boat Fish Sauce, and freshly ground pepper…

…and threw together some Asian Cauliflower Fried Rice using chopped-up dregs from my fridge. 

For the “rice,” I sliced the florets off a head of cauliflower…

…pulsed them in batches in the trusty Cuisinart…

…and set the bowl of “rice” aside.

As I waited for the coconut oil to melt in my cast iron skillet, I diced half an onion….

…and sliced a handful of mushrooms.

I whisked four eggs with pepper and fish sauce…

…and ladled it into my cast iron griddle to make thin omelets.

Then, I dumped the onions…

…ginger…

…and garlic into the skillet to soften.

I added the mushrooms…

…and dumped in the cauliflower once the ‘shrooms were cooked through.

I seasoned the rice liberally with coconut aminos and (more!) fish sauce before covering the skillet with a lid to allow the veggies to steam.

Once the cauliflower was cooked al dente, I added some thawed leftover carnitas (emergency protein from the freezer!)…

…minced cilantro and scallions…

…and the egg omelets, cut into ribbons.

When the rice was ready, I plated the roasted green beans…

…and liberally dressed ‘em with balsamic vinegar.

Not too shabby for a garbage meal.*

After putting the kids to bed, I rifled through mail and found a shiny gift addressed to moi from Sarah at Fashletics:

I’m gonna wear this necklace proudly all the time. Like a boss. That way, if I get lost at the mall, someone will be able to Google “Nom Nom Paleo” and figure out how to contact my mommy.

*Garbage Meal: gar·bage meal \ˈgär-bij·ˈmēl\ a portion of food made from ingredients that would otherwise be discarded

With our Paleo seminar duties out of the way, we drove to the nearest watering hole in Estes Park to guzzle gallons of NorCal Margaritas. Okay — not exactly. But I wouldn’t be shocked if the Paleo Police spied a half-dozen of us decompressing over plates of greasy Mexican food and sugary piña coladas. Even after Mel, Holly, and I had talked our heads off all day, we happily babbled away until we shut down the cantina.

After catching some Zs, we were ready to tackle our last full day in Colorado. We had grand plans for Henry’s birthday: Hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, blending in with the camera-wielding tourists at Elk Fest, eating our way through Boulder, and exploring the haunted hallways of the Stanley Hotel — the inspiration for the spooky Overlook Hotel in Stephen King’s “The Shining.”

But we lost track of time at breakfast with Mel, Dave, and Holly (it was totally their fault for being so damned funny and interesting), and with only a few hours left to cram everything in, it was up to the birthday boy to pick the day’s activity.

What won out?

Ghost tour at the Stanley Hotel with the gang!

Although Henry’s been a fan of “The Shining” since he read it as a kid, the real reason he wanted to visit the Stanley Hotel is so he could impress our seven-year-old with “real-life” stories of hauntings. 

As you may recall, Big-O is obsessed with two things at the moment: Weird Al Yankovic and the macabre. (Remember the ghost tour he took in Seattle?) It’s truly heartwarming that he’s evolving into a weird little pop-culture-spouting nerd, just like his mom and pop.

Henry and I are the two of the biggest skeptics around — we know how Photoshop works — but we made like tape recorders ‘cause we knew our pint-sized ghostbuster would demand a complete debriefing. 

Besides, the hotel is genuinely creepy and unsettling, and I didn’t want to spoil the mood with open mockery. See? I’m not even smirking very much in this photo. I kept on my poker face Polka Face.

To make sure that no ghoul floated past our untrained mortal eyes, we took a zillion photos. From multiple angles. With flash. You know — just in case an orb could be captured in a shot. (In case you didn’t know, “orbs” are evidence of ghostly activity. They’re more commonly referred to as “lens flare” or “dust particles on the camera lens.”)

I think I see one, don’t you? I guess we gotta get our camera cleaned…

(By the way, the photo above shows the door to Room 217, where Stephen King stayed when he dreamt up “The Shining” — and the same room where the characters in the book encounter…something.)

After our spooky tour, we fiercely bear-hugged Holly goodbye as she dashed off to the airport. Ghost stories make me hungry, so Mel, Dave, and Henry, and I hoofed it over to the nearby Mountain Home Cafe for a hearty brunch. Yes, we had breakfast here just the other morning, but Mel and I intently studied the menu again as we waited to be seated. Food nerd habits are hard to break.

My lunch? A bunless grass fed cheeseburger topped with avocado and crisp bacon, accompanied by a side of crunchy sweet potato fries.

The four of us gabbed until the friendly staff gently nudged us out of their restaurant — which was already closed for the day. I love Mel and Dave. For some reason, I just can’t shut up when I’m with them.

So it was with great sadness that we parted ways after brunch. Henry and I had early dinner reservations at The Kitchen in Boulder — an hour’s drive away! — but we wanted to explore the Pearl Street Mall beforehand.

One of the coolest shops we wandered into was Peppercorn. How do I describe this place? It’s kind of like a Bed Bath and Beyond curated by your tasteful-but-crazy foodie hoarder aunt. As we browsed through the immense cookbook section (crammed with tons of Paleo books!), we unexpectedly bumped into Holly, who had taken an impromptu pitstop on the way to the airport. It was like finding another piece of chocolate at the bottom of your purse after thinking you’d eaten ‘em all — the best kind of kismet.

Of course, this meant we had to part ways again — more hugging ensued — before Henry and I headed to his birthday dinner at The Kitchen.

When I’d put out an APB on this blog for a great dining establishment in Boulder, the overwhelming vote was for The Kitchen. It’s a casual farm-to-table neighborhood restaurant with a world-class pedigree.

We were the first ones seated for dinner service, but as the sun sank in the sky, the place quickly filled up.

Look at my handsome birthday buddy!

The Kitchen’s all about feeding the community with fresh ingredients from local farms. 

For our meal, we decided to split a bunch of nibbles and starters and one entrée. We started with Devils on Horseback (balsamic-drizzled seared dates stuffed with cheese and wrapped in crispy speck)…

..prosciutto with cornichons and a tangy mustard…

…duck rillettes topped with a plum and cognac gelée…

…melon salad with lime, Fresno chili, basil, olive oil & black sea salt…

…grilled shrimp with tomatillo sauce and corn relish…

…roasted vegetables with spicy greens and harissa…

…and a grilled pork chop with wood-roasted plums and sprouts.

Throughout dinner, we did our best to hew close to the Paleo straight-and-narrow — until dessert.

We capped off Henry’s birthday dinner with a celebratory affogato and a flourless chocolate cake …

…that we filled with heavy whipping cream.

As we drove the winding mountain road back to Estes Park, a full moon peeked through the clouds, signaling an end to a fun and memorable weekend.

No lie: I’m already planning a return trip to Colorado next year.

I spent a fitful Saturday night tossing and turning — and it wasn’t because of the thin air at 8,000 feet above sea level. Our full-day “Do It Better!” Paleo seminar at the YMCA of the Rockies was slated to start in a few hours, and my eagerness to speak to a roomful of Paleo-curious and converts had suddenly turned to white-knuckle fear.

As I lay in bed, it occurred to me that — as a graveyard shift pharmacist — I barely speak to anyone. My oratory skills are coated with a thick layer of rust; no one’s going to mistake me for a Toastmaster. (In fact, the last time I gave a toast was at my sister’s wedding. My booze-enhanced speech ended with this gem: “SO LEZZALL RAISE OUR GLASSES TO FIONA ‘N CHRIS, ‘CAUSE THERE’S NOTHIN’ LIKE MORE ALCOHOL! WOOO!”)

But the show must go on, right?

I was a little shocked that our seminar sold out. The YMCA ended up capping registration at 115 people, and had to turn some folks away. I sensed that expectations were high, which frazzled my nerves even more.

It’s not that I wasn’t ready. I’d gone over my slides a bazillion times. And knowing that the final portion of my 90-minute talk consisted of a short cooking demo (and tasting) of three of my signature dishes, I’d busied myself with food prep, too.

The night before the seminar, I started slow-cooking two pork shoulder roasts to make Slow Cooker Kalua Pig. The pork needed 16 hours to cook, so before breakfast with the gang, Henry and I brought the slow cookers to the seminar venue to finish cooking.

As a result, the conference center was suffused with the rich fragrance of slow-cooked swine all day. Thankfully, no one seemed to mind being perfumed with pork. 

I spent a few minutes chatting with Mel and Holly before the start of the event. Don’t my co-presenters look mah-velous? And despite the butterflies in our digestive systems, none of us looked particularly nervous to the untrained eye. The Dry Idea anti-perspirant commercials got it right: Never let ‘em see you sweat.

As the attendees trickled in, Dave and Henry tested and re-tested the AV equipment (it’s good to have compulsively perfectionist husbands) while we eyed the prizes that would be given away to audience members throughout the day. Per Cami’s suggestion, the seminar would be punctuated with Get Up, Stand Up breaks (expertly led by Mel) and giveaways every 30 minutes.

Among the prizes were Mel’s fantabulous cookbook, Well Fed, and matching Well Fed socks(!), a $100 U.S. Wellness Meats gift certificate, jars of coconut butter, a pair of Nom Nom Paleo socks and a copy of my iPad app, and a couple of bottles of Red Boat Fish Sauce that had been generously donated by Cuong Pham, Red Boat’s owner.

Honestly, part of me wanted to just throw everything into a big duffle bag and hightail it outta there.

Mel was going to be the first up, and started readying herself for the podium. Have I mentioned lately how head-over-heels we are for Mel and Dave? Seriously: We can’t get enough of them, and spent most of our time in Estes Park furiously conspiring with them and Holly (who’s just as awesome) over food. Mel and Dave are one of our favoritest couples ever, and it gave me the warm and fuzzies to see them support each other all weekend.

By the way, here’s a secret that we all share: Whatever our successes, they’re due in large part to having our own respective live-in personal paparazzo.

The room gradually filled up with folks who made the looooong drive into Estes Park (some even came from out-of-state!), and upon arrival, they generously personalized T-shirts for us with incredibly kind words of encouragement and thanks. Many of the attendees wrote about how excited they were to come hear us speak.

No pressure or anything, right…?

Thankfully, I spotted one (insanely cute) attendee who I could count on to reserve judgment even if I melted into a pool of flop sweat.

Cami led off by introducing Mel as the first speaker of the day…

…and naturally, Mel hit it out of the park.

She offered a concise but comprehensive introduction to the Paleo framework, punctuated with personal stories and hilarious asides. With her warm, witty, and engaging stage presence, Mel managed to cram an entire book’s worth of Paleo education into a two-hour presentation that flew by. She patiently answered every question — including a request for her to don her cute fur hat. 

The whole room was rapt with attention as Mel set forth the foundations of a Paleo lifestyle, and relayed practical advice on how to take steps to make healthy changes in their lives.

As always, she was disarmingly funny, and as she interrupted herself to give out prizes and lead the audience in squats and shrugs and stretches, I could see the wide smiles on everyone’s faces.

At noon, all 100+ of us hiked over to the Walnut Dining Room for lunch. The YMCA’s staff had whipped up a Paleo buffet with recipes from Mel’s cookbook, Well Fed. I bow down to the chef and his team — they replicated her dishes perfectly, and on a massive scale, no less. 

What was on the menu, you ask?

Chocolate Chili and cauliflower mashed potatoes…

…Shepherd’s Pie…

…Rogan Josh…

…The Best Chicken You’ll Ever Eat…

…veggies, Moroccan Dipping Sauce, and fresh fruit for dessert.

I couldn’t stop shoveling the food in my mouth.

After filling our bellies and reconvening for the afternoon portion of the seminar, we remained perky and alert. No sugar spikes and crashes for us!

Holly was up next, and she blew us all away. Tears were flowing freely — not only from hearing about Holly’s deeply personal story about her struggles with weight loss, but also from laughing at her rapid-fire one-liners.

I love Holly. She’s comedy GOLD, and also one of the warmest, kindest people I’ve met in a long while. After just a few minutes with her, I felt like I’d known her for years, and I could see that the audience felt that way, too.

She spoke about her experiences with diets throughout her life, and her introduction to Paleo. Holly’s an inspiration: She lost 100 pounds by changing her approach to nutrition, and recently completed her first Whole30, too.

Of course, it’s not just that Holly has a compelling story (or ten) to tell; her presentation’s also packed with valuable practical advice — ranging from how to approach Paleo as a beginner to how to pick a fitness regimen that works for you. And she delivers everything with breezy charm like nobody’s business.

I absolutely loved Mel’s and Holly’s presentations — but they’re a one-two punch that’s impossible to follow. I just hoped I wouldn’t trigger a stampede for the exits when it was my turn to take the podium.

Once Holly’s talk was over, she bonded with a newfound pal…

…while I set up for my presentation. Juli Bauer was in the front row, so I conscripted her into co-chef duty and told her to be ready to hop up on stage when she got the high sign.

In case you’re wondering: Yes, PaleOMG Megafans, I can confirm that Juli is super-cute and spunky, and is exactly like the persona you read about on her awesome blog. She’s the real deal, folks.

And then it was time for me to take the mike. For an hour-and-a-half, I discussed my personal journey to Paleo…

…the shortcuts I take in the kitchen…

…how we’ve gotten the family on board…

…and how to use umami-packed ingredients to maximize flavor while minimizing time in the kitchen.

Naturally, I got a standing ovation. 

(Except not really. The audience was actually standing for another Get Up, Stand Up! interlude. Remember to get up and move around, people!)

At the tail end of my presentation, I dragged Juli up on stage to help me demonstrate how to make Magic Mushroom Powder, Spicy Pineapple Salsa, and Slow Cooker Kalua Pig.

Juli’s such a good sport — she even shook her booty as she mixed up the Magic Mushroom Powder. Aren’t you sorry you weren’t there to witness it?

As the seminar ended, we divvied up the pork and invited the audience to come up and eat. And finally — FINALLY! — I could exhale with relief and share some laughs with the many wonderful people who had traveled up to the mountains to spend their Saturday with us. 

Sometimes, blogging can seem like a chore, but it’s all worth it because it’s given me the opportunity to meet all of you incredible people who came to our seminar. I am truly honored and grateful to have been invited to join Mel and Holly in Estes Park for this event. I hope that those of you who came to the event loved it as much as we did!

On a final note, I wanted to take a sec to thank all of our wonderful sponsors who donated goods or services to the event:

•  The YMCA of the Rockies
• US Wellness Meats
• Red Boat Fish Sauce
•  Nikkis’ Coconut Butter
• Tanka Bars
• Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory in Estes Park
•  Kind Coffee in Estes Park
• Buckwheat Organic Market in Estes Park
• Paleo Plan

Holy moly, this was a special weekend, and ridiculously fun, too. (More on our extracurricular activities later.)

What do you think — should we take this show on the road?